The scan didn’t come through well, so here it is the old way (goes with the old guy).

29 December 2009

On another such marriage–a.k.a. ” a couple of thoughts from an old guy.”

Here are a few rules I try to live by, and believe me, I’m no husband of the year.

1.  In relationships, the little things are the big things.  I say please and thank you a lot to my wife when she does the dishes I usually do or takes care of an errand I usually do.  If I clean the litter boxes (which she usually does), she thanks me.  It shows respect and appreciation, which are essential for a marriage to last.  I don’t say “I love you,” a lot; neither of us does.  But we do thank each other often and “please” is part of our house vocabulary.

2.  Take 100% percent responsibility for your part in any conversation.  That means instead of, “I didn’t say that,” you acknowledge that you did say that (maybe you really did–we all misspeak), not in a passive-aggressive manner, but that you truly believe that you did.  Then you can add, “What I should have said was….”  I’ve learned this defuses a lot of hot issues.

3.  I’m a “have to fix it” guy when my wife has a problem.  One day, long ago, I had no fix, so I sat there and listened.  Afterward, my wife thanked me profusely for just listening.  I didn’t think I did anything.  But I did a lot by keeping my mouth closed and my ears open.  Such a concept!

4.  When I mentioned that I was going to write you, my wife commented that when she came in at the end of the day,  I got up from the couch and kissed her.  Just that.  I never really thought it was a big deal, but to her it really is.

I wish I had known all this stuff 38 years ago when we got married.  Then again, I did learn it and, obviously, I’m still learning.  Makes me wonder what else I’m missing!  But at least I try.

I tell teenage guys to marry women smarter than they are; fortunately for them, that won’t be difficult.



  1. Ainaz Says:

    Simple but important…I appreciate you for sharing your useful rules… 🙂

    Dear Mike, why you suggest teenage guys to marry women smarter than they are? what are the advantages?

  2. Dillon Says:

    I don’t know if it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else encountering
    problems with your blog. It seems like some of
    the written text within your posts are running off the
    screen. Can someone else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them as well?

    This could be a issue with my internet browser because I’ve had this happen before. Appreciate it

    • Mike Says:

      Think may be browser, judging by what I’ve heard. Some WP blog formats don’t work well with what I’ve written, which is why I’ve stayed with this one.

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